July 2017

Colin Edward Serman

April 10,1990 - March 7,2016

Today is July 27, 2017 and I have been trying to say Good bye to Colin for 16 months.

It is not going to happen. I cannot say good bye because he is forever in my heart, mind,

and life. He is still living in all of us. 

This picture sums up Colin in all way. He loved life to the fullest and hid all his pain

by keeping that ornery smile on his face. I am sure he showed other faces to his dad, the sad, help me, I am sorry, I love you, I am ready, how do I fix this, this is not me, I'm in love, I have a daughter faces. Colin was a great kid, He lived the hard life of knocks. Family stepped in to help him when ever he needed it. From kindergarten on. He was loved by his teachers who knew his pain. His uncles family and friends who helped, his dad went above and beyond to help him in so many ways.

But Colin found it was easier to turn to drugs for his pain. When he was clean I would ask him to start working on his brain and to open up his true heart to someone. But as soon as the pills/ heroin was out of his system it still worked on his brain, telling his heart what he really needed. The high.

I know Colin didn't want to leave this world, his family, his daughter, his nieces and nephew. He loved us all. If I just could have gotten him to open up on his pain.....this guilt's me to know end. For I honestly believe that was the culprit. Yes drugs are a choice. Some choose it for the "fun" of it some choose it because of the "pain" and some choice for both. But this drug takes over after one time. It grabs control of your brain and all your decisions. It took our Colin away from those who loved him, those that chose to disconnect, to write him off but still loved him. We all love him!!!!! 

Dear God, 

I pray for all who our missing Colin, for all those addicted, for all those who think drugs are the answer and MIGHT try it. Please god keep us safe and may we all feel your love surround us.

Amen

Colin was born on our 8th anniversary. He was due in July and came early. I believe 4lbs something. Our son Wade was born that June. As children they were thick as thieves.  They were brothers. Always there for each other right or wrong.

March 7th started as a happy day. Our son Aron turned 32 and was going to have their first baby in the fall. Kyle and I were heade to church when I got the call from Gordy. I fell out on the floor wailing is all I remember. We drove in to Millsboro. Many many things were going on. People everywhere. Colin was loved and at peace. But  the family was in pain. One thing that stands out in my head was all the people that were praying in the front yard. As tragic as it was there was love, support and most of all God. He was there. If you opened your heart that night you would have felt it. If you didn't I ask you to. Its never to late and it is alway wonderful. Colin knew God, He also knew the devil. All to well. But God did hear his call in pain, he was there for Colin that night. He rescued him from his devil and took him home to his glory. The pain from living his life  here on earth I am sure was gone when he entered heaven. For there he was able to hug his true mother, his grandfather and friends that he lost in his life. All made possible by God. There is nothing but love for him now.

So Colin I will never say good bye. You will live in my heart forever, I will do my best to help/support others that ask for help in your name.

Until we hug again my nephew you are always in my heart and soul.

I LOVE YOU!!